After all, things aren’t looking to great right now for him in regards to the upcoming election.
- His health care plan = JOKE
- Unemployment = TERRIBLE
- National Debt = ASTRONOMICAL
- Approval rating = DISMAL
BLOOD IN THE WATER: Obama has been dripping blood into the water for months now and the Republicans are circling like starving sharks, like a pack of famished wolves. The only thing really helping Obama right now is that the Republicans continue to throw out a stack of idiotic, snake oil salesmen to run against him.
I honestly think conservatives across the nation are hiding in their closets, biting their fingernails hoping another Monica Lewinsky shows up with a newly stained dress.
OPTIONS: So what else is there left for our President to do? He won his first election by promising HOPE and CHANGE. Throughout his presidency those two words have been hiding beneath a sea of Chinese manufactured toys and and Indian call centers.
He really only has one option left. He has to pull a rabbit out of his hat. And not just a regular white floppy eared rabbit, he needs to pull rabbit out of his hat that is juiced up on steroids and human growth hormones.
“I declare to this great nation, to the world, that I am Obama and I am really HALF-WHITE,” said the President.
Oh me, oh my. Holy Krishna, holy Buddha and holy Zeus. Could you imagine what the press would do if Obama made a statement like that? They would literally crap their pants. They would be dumbfounded. The collective drool could possibly become the worst national flood disaster in history.
GOP REACTION: And the Republicans would be even more confused. I can picture the highest ranking members of the GOP meeting secretly over expensive cigars and whiskey in some underground men’s club.
“Oh crap, there is no way we can let Obama be white. This is an outrage. He’s trying to RACE-SWITCH and hijack another presidency,” said bloated, pasty white GOP member number 1.
“This is tomfoolery, but at least now we can finally get Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton on our side. Surely they will not stand for RACE-SWITHCING. Finally, Jackson and Sharpton on our side. The Lord works in mysterious ways, “ said puny, Yale economics graduate, GOP member number 2.
THE END: And then, just when you thought things couldn’t get any more confusing; Sarah Palin would declare to the world that she is really a man. And it all ends with Palin accepting the presidency on January 20, 2012.
Wow, thanks a lot Obama for trying to be white.