kayne sucks again (satan’s thorny dick)

If hell and Satan did in fact exist, I can absolutely picture Satan’s cock having thousands of fiery, sharp thorns protruding from its shaft.  And I can also absolutely picture Kayne West kneeling at Satan’s feet and deep throating his thorny cock until a billion demon seeds riddle his insides.  (the satan cock reference is inspired by Bill Hicks)

This narcissistic fuck-stick just never stops.  I’m starting to truly believe that I live in the Matrix and that some programmer has created “Experiment-Kayne” just to fuck with us all.  Well, the programmer is winning.

Oh and spare me the “he’s a genius” bull shit.  If that thought ever enters your mind, make sure to watch the below video.  It does have over 56 million views, which is another sign that we are living in end times.

Kayne did have a couple of good songs, but only a couple.  You know who else had a couple of good songs????  Gerardo; remember Rico Suave??

I’m constantly baffled when I listen to Kayne speak about himself.  He truly feels he is as important as Walt Disney, Steve Jobs and Picasso.  I do wonder what exactly he has done to think so highly of himself.

Well, he did marry a girl with a big ass who became famous for fucking an even shittier rapper and putting the video on the internet.  He can never “unbind” himself from that truth.

When will he ever stop?  Maybe Satan’s cock will one day break Kayne in half and leave him in a heap of itsy, bitsy pieces and we all be spared any more incoherent genius babbling.

(yes, I do realize I am a part of the problem by even writing about Kayne, but I can’t help it.)

Douche Bag Gym

(I used to work out in a local gym and that is where the inspiration came from for this post.)

Hey 20 year-old bench press guy… thanks so much for grunting so loud that everyone in the place thought you were passing several golf ball sized kidney stones.

We were all wondering if you would get that last rep.  And by the way, when you are laying on the bench, make sure you put your dick to the side instead of it standing straight up like a mini-sprinkler.  Unless of course that’s your best pick up move.

Hey “I’m a Cougar Hear Me Roar” Mom… doing lunges across the middle of the gym.

I know, your husband is most likely fucking his much younger, much hotter than you secretary and it’s time for you tone up that ass.

And what’s the deal with the fully done “it must be ladies night” makeup and perfume you are wearing.  Continue reading

Politicians are like…………..

Politicians are like bedazzlers; they decorate the public with bits of shiny shit that makes us stare in awe and belief.

Then, after elected, all the shiny shit falls off and we the people are left to sweep up the trash.  If not satisfied we can return the bedazzler, but they will only send us another one with the same decorations.

Moral of the story:  wake up people, vote for intelligence, vote for common sense, stop being fooled by the fancy, shiny shit.

the great distraction (nothing is real)

“One great big festering neon distraction, I’ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied.  Learn to swim.” Aenema by Tool

If you haven’t noticed yet, nothing is real anymore.  Nothing at all is real anymore.  American Society has been effectively reduced to a group of people who will believe anything fed to them…. as long as the food fits whatever their respective narrative is.

070911-N-4007G-008 SAN DIEGO (Sept. 11, 2007) - American flags bearing the names of victims from the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and Flight 93 on Sept. 11, 2001, adorn a makeshift monument at the Balboa Park 2007 Freedom Walk. Service members and residents from the San Diego community showed their support through the walk to remember those who lost their lives on that day. U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Brian Gaines. (RELEASED)

The media, the politicians, the huge corporations are the predatory birds dropping whatever bits of leftover bullshit they are selling into the willingly open mouths of the baby birds……. the American public.

American Society has become so addicted to instant gratification, that it has no time left for reason.  The headlines are the entire story, don’t worry about searching for the truth.  As long as it fits your respective narrative, then it becomes your truth.  And your truth is absolute.

Stop believing that your political beliefs are correct.  Republicans, Democrats and Independents are not distinctive in any way, shape or form.  Each political party is a different shade of evil, but evil nonetheless.  Your vote does not matter.  Stop thinking it does.

We have become a society distracted by anything that appeals to our senses.  Anything that makes us erect, anything that helps numb us from our mundane lives, anything that gets us through to the next day.

The best part of it all is that none of this matters.  None of this really matters at all.  We are just a bunch of animals, living on a pale blue dot in the middle of nowhere.  But damn, it sure seems bigger than that.  Stay distracted Duh’Merica, stay distracted.




Pretty Stupid Girls (by Misti Rainwater-Lites)

Misti-rainwater-lites-180I’m a big fan of writer Misti Rainwater-Lites.  For me, this poem sums up Duh’Merica perfectly.

This poem is timeless and one that can be read 100 years from now and still be applicable to American Society.

This poem is absolutely, fucking perfect.

I found this on: Poem of the Week September 19th 2005

Pretty Stupid Girls by Misti Rainwater-Lites

pretty stupid girls
chewing Dentyne Ice
and chatting on their cell phones
as Vietnamese ladies
polish their toenails
pretty stupid girls
showing off cleavage and fake tans
in bra tops from Victoria’s Secret
gossiping about Kevin and Britney
wanting to be Paris and Nicole
pretty stupid girls
getting sloshed in clubs
that blast stupid songs
going home with
pretty stupid boys
proving to the world
that Americans
pretty much


I Like Glue in My Coffee

I like glue in my coffee because I’m a white, gangster, mutherfucking bitch.  Fuck the cream and sugar, I rip tags off mattresses bitches.

When my teacher told me not to eat the glue, I stood up at my desk and said, “I don’t need to eat the glue bitch, I like glue in my coffee mutherfucker.”  She sent me to the office and the principal asked me what my problem was.

I told him, “Fuck you honkey, cracker bitch, you wouldn’t understand what it’s like to be a middle-class white kid trying to make a dollar and pass the third grade.  Shit is real in my neighborhood, the HOA is cracking down on people parking on the streets and making my parents keep the landscaping presentable.  That’s why I like glue in my coffee bitch, because it eases the stress.” 

He told me if I had one more outburst that he was going to expel me.

So I replied, “That’s why I like glue in my coffee mutherfucker, because I want to get expelled, go to an alternative school where I will fit in better nigga’.  I’m tired of all these trick ass ho’s trying to make me do math and read and shit.  That’s why I like glue in my coffee.”

Idiot Starbucks lady & Gov. Scott

I’m a Florida native and I’m not exactly a fan of Governor Scott, but this woman is a fucking idiot.

It sounds to me like she’s pissed because she can’t get enough free shit.  Dear Idiot Lady, maybe spend less time buying over-priced coffee from Starbucks, stop gobbling up their free WiFi and go get a damn job.

Governor Scott was a pussy.  He could have at least told her that Dunkin Donuts is much cheaper.

This is Duh’Merica at its finest.  “I’m mad at you because you lessened my ability to get free shit.”