Freedom protects the idiots too

0530-kathy-griffin-graphic-donald-trump-head-cut-off-tyler-sheilds-9Kathy Griffin is a shit comedian.  She’s not funny.  She’s not talented.  I can’t tell which is more offensive; her face or the fake Trump head.

These are my opinions.

I am allowed to express my opinions because of the First Amendment.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” The First Amendment

People often forget that the First Amendment protects everyone’s speech.  It protects a preacher quoting the Bible just like it protects a Satanist talking shit about God.

It doesn’t just protect what you like/dislike or what I like/dislike.  That’s the beauty of America.  We have this freedom.  We can walk outside and say whatever we want without fear of being beheaded.

So stop freaking out over a washed-up, shit comedian’s feeble attempt to remain relevant.  Don’t watch her.  Don’t listen to her.  Don’t purchase anything that she could make money from.  Simple.

Conservatives are always talking about the “pussification” of America.  How about drinking your own Kool-Aid now………… you bunch a pussies.

Kathy Griffin doesn’t represent the Left.  She represents herself.  And she is fucking pathetic.

But then again, we are Duh’Merica and this is exactly what we deserve.

Trump’s new Pledge of Allegiance

“I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the disjointed States of Tump’Merica.  And to the Republic, for which it stands, One Nation, under Russia, with liberty for the privileged and justice for those with white skin.”

pencetrumpOur Dear Leader has proposed the above changes to the Pledge of Allegiance.  The Republican Congress should have no problem passing it.

Sadly though, it was reported that Mike Pence was furious because he wanted to have the word “God” added 150 times regardless of making any sense. (this is not actual news, this is hyperbole, comedy, etc.)

As ridiculous as this sounds, I wouldn’t surprised if some version of this happened one day.  Because this is the current state of Duh’Merica.

We are spinning wildly in a society without logic, without reason and without intelligent thought.  Anger and emotions have taken center stage.  Logic is just an afterthought.

We are Duh’Merica and we deserve this.

(By the way, I am a white man, I’ve never supported Hillary and I’m no bleeding heart.)

 

 

the Redneck Parade (when Trump returns)

horsetrumpWhen Trump returns from his first global visit (the greatest presidential global visit in the history of America): there will be a parade to celebrate.  Not just any parade, the greatest parade ever………… the greatest parade in the history of ever.

Trump, our dear leader, will ride in on a gigantic white stallion (of course it will be white).  The stallion’s name will be “Nationalism.”  Our Dear Leader will ride Nationalism without a saddle, because he’s a stud like that.

It has nothing to do with ironic symbolism. (That symbolism being the absence of stability within this administration).

Our Dear Leader will be riding Nationalism extremely erect with his usual victorious smile and brandishing two gigantic, gold six shooters.  The bullets will streak into the air with smoke signal slogans of ; Muslim Ban, Jail Hillary, Fuck the FBI, Fake News, No Russian Collusion, etc.

While watching the bullet smoke signals, the angry white Rednecks will applaud loudly; even though they have trouble reading and continually become distracted by their opposable thumbs.

But what they do know is that whatever their Dear Leader says is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TRUE.  They continue to applaud and applaud and applaud and applaud until they need a Mountain Dew refill, only then does the crowd quiet.

Unfortunately, Our Dear Leader realized the power of the Redneck Vote.  They are so easily fooled, so easily influenced, so easily agitated.  It only took a few truly fake news stories and an agenda of hate to win their votes.  And their votes were many.

Every night I look to the sky and cry; pleading with the aliens to come take me to their home.  Far, far away from this planet.

sexual harassment isn’t real

Of course our Dear Leader Donald Trump is going to support his butt-buddy Bill O’Reilly regarding sexual harassment settlements.  I mean why the hell not?  Fox has only settled five suits brought against Billy boy.

Trump said to the New York Times: I think he’s a person I know well — he is a good person,” Trump said, according to the Times. “I think he shouldn’t have settled; personally I think he shouldn’t have settled. Because you should have taken it all the way. I don’t think Bill did anything wrong.

It’s always refreshing when the leader of the free world comments about media personalities and their sex suits.

billtrump

GOOD, FUCKING, LORD.

This is our Oval office.  This is our Dear Leader.

But then again, he did talk about grabbing women by the pussy.  So what should we expect?

I truly wonder if our Dear Leader understands what sexual harassment really is.  Maybe he thinks grabbing pussy is similar to how he “negotiates.”

When you are a billionaire you don’t have to negotiate.  You boss-hog your way through life and tell the other party exactly what you are going to do.  They can either take it or leave it.

We should all be embarrassed.  We should all be saddened by this.

Is our Dear Leader privy to some information that would exonerate his buddy?  No, probably not.  He just “knows” him and “knows” he wouldn’t do something like that.

Or, Billy Balls has video of our Dear Leader grabbing a lot of pussy.  That’s probably more plausible.

(I do feel sorry for all women and men who have been sexually harassed or abused in any way.  It’s a sad commentary on our society when people like Trump/O’Reilly devalue a very serious issue.) 

Mandatory Sterilization (Yep, I said it)

I am a proponent of mandatory sterilization and here is why: (my true feelings mixed with some humor)

I believe that some people should not be allowed to breed.  For example, a while ago a mother left her two infant children alone in a bath tub while she was outside on her patio surfing the web.

Solution easy– tie her tubes, she shouldn’t be allowed to have any more children and take the one surviving child away from her.

Any time a mother or father does something this stupid, they should lose their breeding privileges and they should be sterilized.  Why should they be allowed the potential to harm any more children?  Makes no sense to me.

I mean when someone gets a few DUI’s or speeding tickets, the government takes your license away.  Why not sterilize then?  If a parent makes 2 idiotic life threatening mistakes in respect to their children, bring out the scalpel.

“But I didn’t think little Skeeter would get hurt if I locked him inside the house with my 3 pit bulls while I was out buying lotto tickets and getting another case of Natural Lite Ice, he is 3 years old now.”

Sorry dip-shit, put your feet in the stirrups, it’s time to get neutered.

I know what you are thinking…….“but surely there will be opposition from the people you are wanting to sterilize.”

Of course there will be opposition, but that’s an easy fix.  All you have to do is offer them cases of Mountain Dew, Benson & Hedges cigs, barrels of ranch dressing, gift certificates to Dollar General, or free tanning coupons.  That should do the trick.

“I didn’t know that if I left Betty Lou locked in the car while I ran into Cato looking for stirrup pants that she could get injured.  I mean I even turned the car off and rolled up the windows so as to make sure the engine didn’t make her hot.  It was only 95 degrees out.  I really needed them stirrup pants anyhow, I had to try on 4 pairs, I was only gone 45 minutes.”

Sorry miss, put your feet in the stirrups, it’s time to harvest your uterus.

Seriously, there are plenty of people who shouldn’t be allowed to breed.  Sterilization seems like a great idea to me.  Any thoughts??

Trump, the bad Ex strikes again

tumblr_inline_nzrlbglXpe1qf8pbv_500Wow, wow, wow.  Even with a Republican majority in the House, they still couldn’t present a passable healthcare bill to replace Obamacare.

Our President, the self proclaimed Great Negotiator, couldn’t get a deal done.  Surely, he will take some responsibility for this……………. uh, no.

That’s because he’s never actually been a great deal maker or negotiator of any kind.  He’s just a billionaire who boss-hogs his way through every deal he’s ever made others do.  Billionaires don’t negotiate, they tell the other side exactly what to do.   And then the other side with less money and less power gives in.

“We had no Democrat support. We had no votes from the Democrats. They weren’t going to give us a single vote, so it’s a very difficult thing to do,” said our fearless leader.

This is truly amazing.  Even in times of total control, the Republican party is fractured and a terrible mess.  Hell, they only had about six years to create a good plan.  Oops.  Damn Democrats getting in the way again (sarcasm).

So, the terrible Ex strikes again. Trump blames is inadequacies, his failures and his lack of deal making ability on other people.  Exactly how a bad ex would react; BLAME, BLAME, BLAME and BLAME.  It’s never their fault.

This is our President.  This is the leader of the free world.  This is a disgrace.

a question for “christians”

(Disclaimer: I think all politicians are self-serving, pieces of shit)

angry_trump_0Of all the incredible events from the election and our revelations from our now President Trump, one thing has truly baffled me:

How in the hell can Christians, from evangelicals to the mild believer, have voted for Trump?  How in the context of the Bible was that even possible?

I feel like Trump embodies several characteristics that most churches throughout our country view as abhorrent and very non-Christ like.  There are numerous biblical verses that provide examples of this, below are a few of my favorites:

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.” James 3:16

“He who separates himself seeks his own desire, he quarrels against all sound wisdom.” Proverbs 18:1

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

Again, I ask all Christians….. How could you have voted for Trump?  How?  How?  I honestly want to know.  I want to hear how you justify it.

As I’m left to form my own opinions about this, I have to speculate.   It appears to me that your hatred of the other candidates, which is highly un-biblical, led you to “settle” for Trump.

Or was is because Trump picked an evangelical VP in Mike Pence???  Do you really think Pence will be able to calm Trump down?  Seriously???

I am honestly asking for Christians to comment on this post and help me understand this.  Please comment.  I promise I will only engage in intelligent discourse.  I’m not writing this post to fight, I truly want to understand.

Cheers